Nargles
by TheShoelessOne
Summary: [POST DEATHLY HALLOWS] The new Herbology professor and his spacey wife spend their first year together at Hogwarts, and make many discoveries about First Years, each other, and Crumple Horned Snorkacks. CHAPTER 2 UP!
1. Watch Out For Nargles

**Nargles**

It was the Gryffindors' first Herbology class. And, luckily, they found themselves paired up with the First Year Ravenclaws, and not the Slytherins, as was the case in Potions. James found that he didn't much care for the Slytherins, no matter what stories his father told him. Casting his gaze around at the others that joined them just inside the archway to the greenhouses, he noticed a familiar face in the crowd of blue and silver. A great beaming smile met James' eye as the other boy recognized him as well.

"James!" Teddy Lupin shouted, making the gaggle of First Years jump.

"What are you doing here?" James asked, wondering vaguely where their professor was.

"Just bringing these first years down to their Herbology lesson. Prefect and all," Teddy clarified as his hair turned a dark, lovely green. "And, don't tell anyone, but I'm a bit of an Herbology nut." He looked at the color his hair had taken on, frowning slightly at the contrast with the Ravenclaw blue. He quickly amended it, making it thoroughly silver, shining like the moon in the nearly empty courtyard.

"I won't tell," James assured him. There came a noise from the other end of the courtyard, near the tall glass greenhouses, and all attention turned.

Walking toward them was a tall, round-faced, genial-looking man in his mid-thirties. His hair was mussed and brown, a bit longer than it probably should be, as it hung into his eyes. His face and arms were bronzed and a bit pink from too much sun, and his smile was bright and wide. He had dragonhide gloves on his hands, reaching nearly to his elbows, and was covered in soil. As he approached, it seemed like the anxiety drained out of every first year present, and a few of them smiled in return. The man dusted off his hands, as if that might help, and wiped at something under his eye, leaving a streak of soil in its wake.

"Morning, Gryffindors, Ravenclaws!" He beamed down at the children bedecked in the familiar gold and scarlet. "I think I remember these faces."

"Good morning, Professor Longbottom," many of them replied, grinning back. James was surprised. Either Professor Longbottom hadn't mentioned that he was the Herbology teacher as well as Head of Gryffindor, or he hadn't been paying attention. Of course, he'd visited his mother and father several times, but he'd never once heard the word Herbology mentioned.

"Teddy," Neville said with surprise in his voice. "Can't keep you away, can I?"

"Not with a Bludger on one hand and a Tentacula on the other, Professor," Teddy beamed. His silver hair had unknowingly acquired pesky soil-brown highlights. Neville reciprocated the boy's enthusiasm, then returned his attention to the first years before him.

"Now, if you'll all follow me, we'll be in Greenhouse One this morning," Neville said jovially, turning quickly on his heel. "You've all brought your gloves...?"

The first years fumbled in their bags, one Ravenclaw nearly tripping over herself in the process. Teddy helped her balance herself, watching the back of Professor Longbottom's head intently. James pulled on his gloves, flexing his fingers in the strong dragonhide. Neville glanced over his shoulder, leading the children through a vine-covered archway.

"Good, good. Watch your heads; that's the vine of the Vernaculus plant. She likes to snag a First Year every once in a while." Neville ducked, avoiding the swinging vines. The children covered their heads, looking frantic as they dashed through the archway. Teddy stood beside Neville, shaking his head with a smirk.

"Always with the Vernaculus, Professor?"

"It keeps them on their toes," Neville said sagely. "Usually they figure out the Vernaculus is harmless by the third week." He picked up the pace again once most of the students were through the archway, then pulled out his overloaded key ring and unlocked the greenhouse with a large number one over the door. Many were shooting furtive glances over their shoulders at the First-Year-eating plant in the archway. Teddy mussed his hair, looking longingly at the foliage inside the greenhouse and sighed.

"I'd love to stick around, Professor, but I promised Headmistress McGonagall I'd be in her office in five minutes. She wants Head Boy and Girl there to arrange First Year festivities for the end of the week."

"Work, work," Neville responded dully with a grin that didn't match. "I'm free after the third years come in after. We can work on that Flutterby bush you wanted for Victorie--"

Teddy flushed bright red, and his hair flushed to match. He excused himself politely, and was jogging back through the arch and out of the courtyard when he disappeared. Professor Longbottom ushered the rest of the students into the greenhouse. They mulled about absently, many looking at the bright and colorful blooms that surrounded them. Above hung large, umbrella-sized flowers that ranged in color from fire orange to bright, blinding pink.

Neville inched his way to the back of the greenhouse, skirting a confused student here and snatching a little hand back from a snapping dragon flower before it could sustain any damage there. Once he'd reached the back, he clapped his gloved hands together to get the first years' attention.

"As first years," he started out in a voice that could be heard over the honking daffodils that someone had inadvertantly awakened, "you'll be sticking to the plants in Greenhouse One. They don't bite nearly as hard." The students didn't know whether to laugh or not. He encouraged them with a laugh of his own, and they twittered in response. "Today, we're starting simple, introducing you to Herbology, and just what some of these magical plants can do."

A hand shot up from the group of Ravenclaws. Neville's thoughts immediately went to young Hermione, with a permanent hand in the air, which made him smirk involuntarily. Neville pointed. "Yes...?"

"Donald, sir. Donald Fairbanks." He fidgeted slightly, shying away from a twitching plant just at his elbow. "I was just wondering why we have to learn about _plants_."

Professor Longbottom paused, and the honking daffodils took that as their cue to go off into a strained rendition of the 1812 Overture. Some children giggled, and Neville had to admit that it was amusing.

"You know, Mr. Fairbanks," Neville said at last, "I thought that very same thing my first Herbology class. And it was a wise little old woman who took me aside after class and told me that _she_ had thought the very same thing. The truth of it is, Mr. Fairbanks, no one knows just what about this world is going to make them into who they are. And just like me, or Teddy Lupin, or Pomona Sprout, you might find it's these silly plants that make you flourish."

He looked up as the greenhouse door opened, and a smile seemed to melt across his face. "Or Charms, if that's your forte." James whipped his head around to see who had entered, along with the majority of his classmates. A lithe woman stood in the doorway, with her long frazzled blonde hair done up in two ponytails in the back of her head. She had wide, staring grey eyes and earrings shaped vaguely like radishes. Under her teacher's robes she wore an eccentric assembly of clothing that didn't seem to have a theme. She smiled boldly, flowing past the confused Gryffindors. The Ravenclaws seemed ecstatic.

"The daffodils," she said once she'd arrived at Neville's side, cocking her head and making eye contact with the flower hanging above his head. "Their repertoire has increased over the summer. I had no idea they knew Haydn." She met his eyes then, and both brightened. Neville turned then to his Gryffindors, holding the blonde woman's hand beside a potted plant resembling purple tentacles.

"Gryffindors, this is Luna Longbottom. My wife."

She had pulled off the glove on his left hand, gazing at the wedding band on his ring finger. Sticking her tongue out in concentration, she adjusted the ring on his finger, turning it just barely to the left.

"Fall equinox is approaching," she muttered, checking the sun outside the glass of the greenhouse and adjusting the ring just so. She nodded in approval, returning the glove to his hand.

"Don't you have a class to be teaching, Luna?" Neville asked endearingly, not even bothering to ask about the adjustment of his ring. She fiddled with the strap of her bag before she began digging in it.

"Fifth years," she said absently. "I told them to practice levitation charms, and that if I found any of my belongings damaged or missing, it would be permissible to hex them individually." She grinned up at her husband. "I do very much like hexes. They are wonderful tools for motivation."

Neville took a moment to raise his eyebrows at his Ravenclaws, who giggled amongst themselves. He returned his attentions to Luna when she let loose a short "Ah!" She pulled a small brown paper bag out of her shoulder bag, and presented it proudly to the man beside her. He took it questioningly as the daffodils took this chance to honk the chorus from the latest Weird Sisters single.

"What is it?" Neville asked, digging into the paper bag. His fingers brushed metal, and Luna beamed.

"Protection," she said simply. "With the equinox approaching, it signals the yearly migrations of Snetterbeaks from the southern mountains of Germany. Unfortunately, being quite nearly all the time invisible, it's impossible to magically defend yourself. So I made us these." She indicated the odd necklace she was wearing, along with other assorted charms. It seemed to be made out of bent, malleable copper and aluminum wire, with a large green pendant in the center. "It's infused with essence of--"

"It's great," Neville said quickly, a wide encouraging smile on his features. "It really is." He slipped his necklace over his head to prove his point, and it hung nearly to mid-chest. The chain was old and used, unlike Luna's. "You'd better get back to that Charms class before someone discovers that Crumple-Horned Snorkack horn--"

Luna gasped, as if the thought hadn't come to her. She quickly latched her bag, stood on her toes to peck a kiss on her husband's cheek, and took off at a dash. She skidded to a halt beside James Potter, who looked like he'd seen a ghost. She leaned down to his level, pointing at the plant just in front of him and whispered confidentially: "Watch out for nargles." And she was gone, a whirl of blonde and blue.

The Ravenclaws began tittering amongst themselves, and it took a good two minutes for Neville to regain control. He fiddled absently with the green pendant, which appeared to be wooden and carved with a large "N". He laughed quietly to himself, then reached for the potted plant beside him.

"Now, back to reality." The Gryffindors smiled up at him encouragingly. "This is the Flowering Teuthida, characterized by its tentacle-like appendages..."

Outside Greenhouse One, the musical honking daffodils could be heard throughout the courtyard, warbling now without melody, into the silence that Herbology professors had loved for centuries. Just before she disappeared into the castle, Luna Longbottom had stopped to spray the air with protective silver sparks. Throwing a glance back toward the greenhouses, she smiled placidly and vanished into the darkness of Hogwarts.

* * *

AN: Hello there, Potter-world! I believe that the world needs some Neville Love, and who better to give it than a Rabid Neville Fan? I didn't know until recently that I was a Neville/Luna shipper, but it turns out I am. I just think that they're adorable. And I was originally writing this as a oneshot, but I decided it could easily be multichapter. I think I've decided on multichapter. Tell me what you think, leave some love, and thanks for reading! 


	2. The Best Ones Are Stolen

**Chapter Two: The Best Ones Are Stolen  
**

The chatter at dinner was bright and excited. The first years, while not exactly completely accustomed to the ins-and-outs of Hogwarts, were finally settling in. Teddy Lupin seemed to be trying his best to keep his first years from becoming too overly-excited. The Gryffindor table was ablaze with talk, and Neville smirked to himself as he picked at the pudding before him. On one side, he had the presence of Headmistress McGonagall, and on the other--

Luna reached her spoon in and quickly scooped out a good portion of Neville's dessert. She popped it into her mouth with a mischievous smirk, as if daring him to take it back. He raised his eyebrows at her, and she simply grinned.

"Stolen food always tastes better," she said plainly, waving her spoon about in the air in front of her in an absent way.

Neville's smile twitched up, and his own spoon darted into her bowl of pudding, eliciting her short gasp. He was contemplating the tasty treasure, making much more of a deal out of it than she did.

"Huh," he said, having swallowed at last. "You're right."

"Neville Longbottom," she said, shaking her head fondly and not quite making eye contact, "you are incorrigible."

They let a short pause take them, each laughing silently to themselves as they finished off their own desserts. Taking the spoon from his mouth for the last time, Neville leaned casually on the table, in toward his wife.

"Teddy and I are going to work in greenhouse two tonight," he told her, not quite clandestinely. She ran her finger along the inside of the bowl, sticking it in her mouth and savoring the last taste of pudding.

"Boys and their plants," she muttered, looking far across the Great Hall in thought. She tapped the spoon thoughtfully against her lips. "It _has_ been a while since I wrote to Daddy. I think he's in Romania."

"Romania?" Neville seemed incredulous.

"Researching the Romanian Black-tailed Serpentius. He suspects that with the climate change they might be forced into a different habitat, which would finally give him concrete proof that they exist." She smiled pleasantly, turning back to him. "So, while you boys work with your plants, I'll disappear into the office to write."

"I didn't mean that you--"

"Would you like to put a word in?" She asked, waving laconically at a young girl at the Ravenclaw table. Neville pondered for a good moment. Xeno Lovegood had been at their wedding, said a few enigmatic words and clapped him firmly on the back. They'd stayed at the rook-like Lovegood home for a week for Luna's most recent birthday. Other than the occasional random meeting, Neville could honestly say he hadn't really gotten to know his father-in-law.

He nodded, finally. "My best wishes with his research in Romania. And to keep his eyes open for this particularly rare turnip said to grow near the coast there."

Luna popped up, attentive. "Rare turnip? Oh, Daddy would love that. Would you want a sample should he find it?"

"Absolutely," he returned with a grin he reserved only for her. As always, it made her cheeks burn a lovely bright pink.

The Great Hall had cleared out considerably by the time Neville approached the practically empty Ravenclaw table. Turquoise-haired Teddy Lupin was sitting in a group of four friends, chatting amiably with a boy a year younger than him across the table. A ridiculously pretty young woman with perfect blonde hair sat leaning against his left shoulder, smiling up at him adoringly. The boy across the table looked up at Neville's approach.

"Evening, Professor Longbottom," the boy said quickly, as if the conversation they'd been having was inappropriate for teachers' ears. Teddy and Victorie turned as well, the former looking suddenly alert.

"Evening, Mr. Harrison," Neville responded. He turned his focus to Teddy, whose hair had suddenly become a muted and humble brown. "All set, Teddy?"

"Aye, Professor," he said, grinning. "Greenhouse two ahoy?"

Victorie giggled. Harrison snorted. Neville rolled his eyes playfully.

"All right, enough of that," he said as Teddy stood from the table. "Herbology is a very serious business."

"Right!" Teddy quickly corrected himself, standing straight. "No more nautical jokes, sir!" Despite the brashness of his statement, Teddy's kind face looked almost sheepish, and Neville couldn't help but chuckle.

"Come on, then. I've managed to scare my wife away--wouldn't want your girl scampering off too, would you?"

Teddy blushed bright despite himself, causing Victorie to twitter playfully again. "Weren't we off to the greenhouses, Professor?" he asked in a low voice, and led the way out of the Great Hall.

Neville's heavy, overloaded key ring made a ridiculous amount of noise as he took it from his belt, unlocking the door with a large number two overhead. Teddy was watching the stars.

"Cor..." He muttered. "Never get tired of all that to-do up there. I think you've got the second-best view in the castle, Professor."

Neville pushed the door open, letting the musty smell of flora overtake him. "Odd, I think I have the best. Is that Astronomy teacher putting poison in your head again?"

"Or something from the Potions stores," Teddy murmured as he followed Neville inside. "That last tea break was--" He simply shuddered.

"Would you light those?" Neville asked, waving at the nearby lanterns. He locked the door behind them as Teddy waved his wand at the closest of the light fixtures. As he turned back, he could see the young Ravenclaw with arms akimbo, observing a rather plain-looking bush. The nearer he got, the quicker it shook.

"It still has some growing-up to do," the professor said as he approached to watch. "Tonight it'll probably need a change of soil, a good watering, maybe a light prune. What d'you think?"

"It's awful ugly, isn't it?" He asked in return, cocking his head at the bush. As if it could hear them, it shook with five seconds of fury, then calmed.

"Trust me," Neville said as he walked past the bush and ran his fingers along a voluminous pink blossom that seemed to giggle at the touch. "She'll love it. But only if you treat it right. The Flutterby bush is a temperamental thing, like any woman can be." He reached into a low drawer and pulled out a pair of small shears, handing them to Teddy.

"According to the text," the boy began, as he set the shears down and prepared the new soil, "the bush should be getting on soon. Five weeks at the most, I think."

"Four, if you do it right," Neville said, walking about and checking on the plants. "_Aguamenti_." A fountain of water sprang from his wand, and the nearby blooms seemed to literally lap it up from the air.

The bush shook hard as Teddy lifted it gently from its old soil. As his teeth chattered, he tried his best to ask his question. "P-professor, you k-k-keep talking ab-bout doing things r-r-right. What'm I d-doing wrong?" He finally placed the wriggling bush in its new pot and began packing in the new soil.

Neville turned his head from the plants he was watering, looking deep in thought, as if finding the right words.

"Try... talking to it. And be _nice_. She doesn't like being called ugly."

Teddy raised his eyebrows only once, at which his teacher nodded. Mussing his now bright orange hair, Teddy shrugged and picked up the shears.

"Hello... darling," he said apprehensively. The bush shook, but the intensity had dropped inexplicably. Licking his lips, he raised the shears. "You look absolutely spiffing today, if I may say so." The bush's leaves perked up slightly, still fluttering.

"Told you," Neville snuck in with a smirk.

"Well, you adorable little bush, with your pretty little grey leaves, I think I have to prune you now. But don't worry, I'll be gentle." The shaking came almost to a halt, which made Teddy begin to laugh triumphantly. "Have I told you lately that you're a genius with plants, Professor?"

"Don't forget brilliant," he added.

"I'm sure you hear it all the time," the boy said as he pruned away.

An unexpected sigh escaped his mentor, and he turned his head to observe the slightly sagging form of Neville Longbottom.

"I don't actually. Don't get me wrong," he perked up almost instantly, "students like you make it all worthwhile, trust me. But of all the fields in Hogwarts, Herbology is probably most-overlooked."

His words had an unplanned effect, and Teddy's shoulders sagged. His hair slowly turned slick black, and he glanced at the Flutterby bush beside him.

"Teddy? I didn't mean..."

"No, just..." He played with the leaves of the bush, which seemed to like his touch. "My mum was an Auror, and my dad... Well, he had to be one of the best blokes ever, the way Harry goes on. Me going into Herbology, d'you think... they'd be embarrassed?"

Neville blinked incredulously for a moment, then immediately shook his head, shutting off the water from his wand in an instant. "No! Absolutely not. Look..." He pulled up a tall stool beside the bush, where he sat and levered a hand concretely on Teddy's shoulder. "I knew Remus Lupin. He was my teacher, and one of the best ones I ever had. He taught me a lot of things, especially about myself. If I knew just one thing about him, it's that he'd be proud of anything you put your mind to." He squeezed Teddy's shoulder encouragingly. "He didn't get to tell you all that often, but I know he loved you, even if you _are_ an Herbology nut."

Teddy offered a weak grin. "I _am_ a bit of a nut, aren't I?"

"It's a good thing you have me as a professor, then, isn't it?" Neville grinned wide, patting the boy's shoulder and levering himself to his feet. "You keep on with that bush, then, and I'll try to quiet those honking daffodils in greenhouse one."

"Aye, Professor," Teddy responded with a low answering grin of his own. He snipped a frail leaf away from the bush's visage, murmuring, "You _are_ a lovely plant, aren't you?"

When Luna emerged from Neville's office, she wasn't surprised to find the lights still on in greenhouse two. A single daffodil seemed to be serenading into the night, honking gently. She approached on bare feet, skimming toes in the early dew. The letter in her hand could wait to be taken to the Owlery. She felt an urge to check on her husband.

Teddy had left the door unlocked, it seemed, and Neville's heavy key ring hung on the inside knob. The Ravenclaw must have left sometime earlier, for the professor was dead asleep on the table containing a gently swaying Flutterby bush. Luna glanced around for any sign of another human or beast, and approached from behind. His too-long hair had fallen into his eyes and his mouth hung slightly ajar. Her man had seen a long day.

Setting her letter down beside the potted bush, she wordlessly wrapped her arms around him from behind, cradling her head somewhere between his shoulder blades. He grumbled pleasantly, as if only half-aware of his surroundings. His hand fumbled slightly until it latched on to hers, and he squeezed it slightly.

She raised her head to kiss the top of his ear, where she whispered, "Come to bed, you great oaf."

He peeked one eye open, staring at the waterfall of blonde hair that seemed to have surrounded him. Blinking the blurriness away, he sat up with great yawning effort to look her in the eye. She smiled plainly, affectionately mussing his hair.

"All right," he said finally, grunting as he pushed himself to his feet. "Pull my leg..." He waved his wand at the lanterns, having to try three times on a particularly stubborn light.

Once all of them had gone out, Luna surprised him by darting in and purloining a sneaky kiss. He stared wide-eyed into the darkness as she stepped back and poked him twice in the center of his chest.

"The best ones are stolen," she stated simply.

Making sure he had everything off the table, he locked the door and followed her quickly back to his office. The letter could be sent tomorrow.

* * *

AN: Yep. I love Teddy Lupin. Also, the question was raised by one of the reviewers that it should be Albus not James in their first year. I know that's how it was in the epilogue, but Teddy Lupin would've been 19 then, wouldn't he? I guess I just supposed that'd be a bit old for a seventh year, and I reeeeeally wanted to write Teddy. BUT if that's not the way it turns out, I'll gladly go back and change it to Albus. Other than that, THANK YOU all so much for your support this far! I'm planning on doing a multi-chap, definitely, but how far I go, I don't really know. But much thanks and much love for the reviews and the faves. Stay awesome, and stay tuned! 


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